Dream Partner

by - August 06, 2010

From my previous entry, I have asked questions about how to look for a potential husband or wife and the important qualities of a husband or wife.
Now days people date, they talk to each other and they go out to get to know each other. I am in no position to say what is permissible and what isn't. I am sure as long as your family is aware of the presence of the potential husband or wife and accepts you to see him or her with a presence of a muslim adult, there should be no harm. Yet again, I am in no position to tell you what to do and what not to do.
However, here is a simple list of the qualities to look for (This has nothing to do with looks, or type, it's more about the experience, skills and characteristics):
Husband:
• Understanding and commitment of Islam
• Honesty, integrity and reliability
• Social and life skills relevant to men
• Sacrifice and ability to accommodate
• Education and professional expertise (primarily to earn for family)
• Family Background
• Strength of character as in the role of a provider and protector in the family
• Positive outlook, magnanimity and broadmindedness
• Ability to cope with anger, crises and external pressure
• Competence and enthusiasm to lead a family in Islamic ethos
• Willingness to consult
• Loyalty to wife in goodness
• Equity, impartiality and sense of justice
• Masculine features, e.g. toughness and stamina
Ok ladies, the man does NOT have to tick all of the things listed above, I'm not sure if that's even possible? Some of the qualities listed above are important to have a stable, long lasting and happy marriage and to start building a family, but you can't chase a man away, just because he doesn't have all of the qualities.
Not only do women look for the important qualities, men also do!
Important qualities of a wife:
• Understanding and commitment of Islam
• Honesty, integrity and reliability
• Social and life skills relevant to men
• Sacrifice and ability to accommodate
• Education and professional expertise (primarily to raise children in Islam)
• Family Background
• Loyalty to husband in goodness
• Liveliness

I'm not too sure whether I agree with both of the husband's and wife's
qualities given...This is a list from the book called 'Marriage and Family
Building in Islam' by Dr. Muhammad Abdul Bari
What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Please feel free do drop a
comment and your thoughts :)

Love and Peace

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2 Comments

  1. Shahirah Elaiza9 Aug 2010, 08:13:00

    Salam! Yeah the list looks just about right but I think at the end of the day it all comes down to one thing: FATE.

    Some people can make it work through rainy weather and stormy seas (don't mind the metaphors) because they're just meant to be together =)

    I think these lists are just the basic criteria of what people are looking for in general but as individuals we also have preferences when it comes to certain things like.... cultural background, educational background, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Zinah Nur Sharif9 Aug 2010, 20:35:00

    Sister Shahirah, i totally agree with you. We all have preferences, and have our own perfect partner in mind. Some have the blessing of Allah and find the 'what they call' perfect partner, others learn that our preferences may have been unrealistic? If you know what I mean :)

    Jazakallah Khair for being a wonderful reader :)

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